The IDEAL Black Man or Black Woman...part 1.

The swag, the intelligence, the acceptance of God, the strength of body and mind, the knowledge and appreciation of one's history and family, the good weight of character, the will to overcome all adversity, and the desire to not only climb for self, but to elevate in pursuit of a position that could carry a multitude is what makes up my I.B.M. (Ideal Black Man).
Of course, nowadays, before the emergence of Barack Obama into the National spotlight, the ideal of such a man existing in this day and time seemed utterly ridiculous. In fact, even now, when I sit in the mist of conversations pertaining to this very subject, which are normally sustained by women from different cultures and from a wide range of social-economic backgrounds, the very idea of such a man, besides President Obama, walking the earth has often summoned a hint of laughter. Why is this, I wonder, when there are so many of these men around.
Off the top of my head I can name ten, at least. Oddly, these are the men who, after revealing to me that my definition of my I.B.M. perfectly matches their qualifications to mark their Ideal Black Woman, also leaks laughter at the thought of actually linking up to their Ideal. In their confessions, they often tell me that only a hand full of women that they know, including me, fits their I.B.W. And out of those women, they complain, none are available to them; whether they are married, gay, or so blinded by ambition or "the flesh" that they don't notice that their psychological match is actually standing in front of them.
I sense this is why so many relationships aren't satisfying; why some people, who haven't the realistic expectations of ever finding their I.B. M. or I.B.W., and have thereby settled for what they figured was the next best thing or the best right now, aren't truly committed to the one they vowed to love. I'm convinced this is why those who've worked or are naturally born to be somebody's I.B. M. or I.B. W. are single, viewed as unattainable, or simply a fantasy.